Listen to Obi-Wan: Many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our point of view.
In our self-obsessed culture, I hear, “why don’t they just…” a lot more than, “What do I have to do to…”. This is fundamentally why we’re not only terrible communicators, but terrible managers and partners–a complete inability to put ourselves in others’ shoes for even a minute.
I won’t abstract too much about binary concepts of surface truth versus total harmony here but I’ll just illustrate: ever give a friend a better recommendation than he deserved, or tell your server your over-salted brick of a steak is fine? Imagine every interaction in China like that, where your outsider status gives you no priority on truth. This has of course wide-ranging consequences, but I’ll concentrate here on a customer perspective.
You may have heard the expression 顾客是上帝 gukeshishangdi “customers are gods”, and so don’t understand how this jives with the experience you’re having.
Let’s put this in context: do you believe your contractor is going to build your house exactly how you want it? Believe that your ERP roll out will go smoothly after the kickoff meeting? No, you have constant interactions, clarifications, and adjustments throughout the process. And this with vendors with no language, cultural, or even time zone challenges.
So what makes people believe they can get it done in China with less effort? The answer is generally that it’s just too much work (perhaps coupled with a resentment at being forced to go to China in the first place). So there is a serious mental wall to climb that tends to manifest itself in finger-pointing, excuses, and anger. I may be asking for a little too much introspection, but it’s often a morale, resource, and leadership problem.
A Chinese customer is in constant contact, has realistic expectations, and an ear to the ground. So she is treated like a god, especially compared to an unprepared foreigner. But perhaps more tellingly, the ‘god’ part is really a matter of face and respect. And a Chinese customer understands what’s courtesy and what’s real.
Here are a few ideas that should inform your communication process:
关系 guanxi or relationships – your vendor has a wide array of obligations that he will attempt to integrate your project into. That includes putting certain manpower on it, using certain vendors, and keeping harmony within his organization. Some of these obligations are related to face, but I’ll give a few examples more purely relational.
Sub-vendor selection – This drives people mad. Sometimes, the best case when you tell them, ‘use vendor X’, is they hear, “give me quality similar to vendor X”. While this can be a pure cost decision, it’s also highly related to the relationship (both paid for and ‘natural’).
Ever toss a lawn mowing job to your neighbour’s kid instead of the landscaping company your wife saw an ad for? That’s about how seriously they take your suggestion until you: a. explain exactly why this vendor must be used, and b. help build the relationship yourself by introducing them and having some sort of joint meeting. Explaining your reasoning is very important in all aspects of managing in China. I’ve found people have a hard time with it because goes against the perception that Chinese are docile sheep that just follow rules. You assume blind compliance at your peril as you discover how creatively they can bend the rules.
What drives people especially crazy is when vendor X knows they’re being bypassed but doesn’t report it. This is because they know this would further damage their relationship with your vendor, so you must be proactive in making this happen, while respecting vendor X’s concern. You can’t make them out to be the bad guy. Once they’re used to one another, it gets better.
Sales – You have the better, maybe even cheaper product, yet your sales partner seems to keep pushing product Y more than yours. Why is that? He’ll tell you all kinds of reasons, such as, “our customers are used to brand Y”, or “so-and-so uses brand Y” but at the end of the day you need to evaluate how important you are to them. Are you bringing them prestige with your brand but less profitability? Do they have a stake in brand Y? This can take some sniffing around, but you need to get a handle on that one, as IP becomes an issue also. Someone on the ground that reports directly to you will help. A short term solution is to direct more of the sales/marketing process yourselves. Provide localized assets and develop a promotional campaign with them. In short, invest in helping them they way brand Y probably is.
面子 mianzi or face – You may have heard that the Japanese have thousands of ways of to say ‘no’, none of which entail the word. There’s a similar idea at work here. Refusal, reports of failure, assignation of blame, etc…are all very difficult to pin down to save face for themselves, the company, a colleague, or you. This should not be mystifying once you ask yourself how you much you would like your boss to burn you in front of the board if there were a softer way to frame it.
However, our ‘results driven’ mindset thickens the barrier, because not only are we perceived as bristling with hot buttons, but we often take no interest in the holistic view of the situation, pointing instead at the fine print of a contract. It is incorrect that contracts are meaningless in China, but they are more properly viewed as aides to a meeting of minds. And as the situation changes their position shifts as well. The problem is, it often isn’t heard on our end.
The most basic communication strategy should avoid yes/no questions or ultimatums, and include multiple confirmations of true agreement by asking for their opinion/plan as well as giving them an out on anything you suspect may be too good to be true or beyond their ken. Also, I would suggest to:
Listen. The first step is taking more time to learn and listen. Time to know them, the changing status, time to take a deep breath rather than turning red-faced and yelling, which will only lead to further disengagement.You may not ever appreciate the full pregnancy of a well-timed phrase, but you’ll eventually get a sense when there’s more beneath the words.
They may offer very subtle cues on deviations, and you have to draw things out with non-threatening dialogue. “Some problems at the factory” may be muttered as if it were inconsequential to you, but it could mean anything from, “We’ve got a handle on it” to “factory burned down due to violent strike, and I’m stealing the rest of the money because they owe me back pay.” By the way, this works both ways. Take the time to explain why criteria A or timing B is so critical, and they will tend to listen and sympathize, just as they expect you to do for them.
There will be a slight delay in delivery.
Let sleeping dogs lie. Secondly, don’t get caught up in assigning blame or obsessed with getting to the bottom of something. Leave it as vague as necessary to move forwards and ensure some kind of organizational learning came out of it. Everyone will be more comfortable working with you, and that way you’ll slowly come to the truth you need.
Language Barriers – Finally, the language and idiom gap is usually wider than we think. They will often not ask for clarification and worse, imply agreement, both for convenience and to avoid embarrassment. Take some time to gauge the English level of your contacts, and adjust your diction and pace accordingly. This includes not shouting at a glacial pace to someone who is essentially fluent. Bear in mind when your POC is not technical and there primarily for language skills.
One real annoyance here: Americans can have a very narrow listening window for accents. Rather than grunt, “huh?”, how about apologizing for not being used to her accent (not “funny” or “strange”) assuring that you’ll eventually get used to it, and just cracking on with the pace and repetition you both need?
Written minutes can be useful, not necessarily for enforcing action, but confirming understanding. Many Chinese write much better than they speak, so take advantage of it. Write precisely, even pedantically, as they’ll spend much more time with your documents than your words, and yes, perhaps not ask for help even if they need it.
Practical China 